What If
by Avoline Malfoy
Summary: What if, instead of Jackie being pregnant, it was Rose? What if the Doctor lost Rose and his only chance at another family? Would he destroy the fabric of the universe to get her back? *RATED M FOR LANGUAGE AND JUST IN CASE*
1. Two Hearts, Twice the Pain

_Disclaimer: I own nothing._

* * *

_Hello, my dear readers!_

_I have been on a Doctor Who kick, and I just recently watched the episode where the Doctor looses Rose. And I thought "What if she WAS pregnant? What if, just what if, the Doctor lost not only her, but a child, his child?"_

_So yes, I am about to break both of this poor man's hearts, in true fashion. Always the what ifs, ya know?_

_So, without further ado, I give you my first Doctor Who fanfiction._

_Sit back, and enjoy._

_Love always,_

_Avoline_

* * *

He tried to hold back the tears as she stood before him. The window between the universes was about to close. There was so much he wanted to say to her. So much he also wanted to do with her. He wanted so badly to show her the moon. There was still Barcelona (the planet of course, but the city would be nice too) and the face of boe.

He also wanted to try, just try, and see if maybe, _just_ maybe, he could have another family, with her. She was everything he could ever want. She was what he _needed_, for Rassilon's sake! Surely the universe couldn't be so cruel as to separate them.

"It'll be five of us now," she stated, pulling him from his thoughts. "Mum, Dad, Mickey, me… and the baby."

He froze. She couldn't be. Oh, Rassilon, she couldn't be pregnant. Not with his child. Not by him. No, no, no, it couldn't be.

But what if she is? He felt the fear creeping in. If she was pregnant, the child could kill her. If it didn't, she would be left trying to raise a half-Gallifreyian child on her own, without him. He would never get the chance to hold his child, never get the chance to have a family again. His hearts ached with the possibilities.

"You're not…"

Her eyes met his, and he almost collapsed. She was pregnant. She was carrying his child, and she was trapped in a parallel universe without him. Rassilon, if she died trying to carry his child, he would never forgive himself.

"Rose, I will find a way to you; I will help you, in any way," he began, talking as fast as he could. The window was closing; he was running out of time. "I don't know how this will affect you, with the child being half-Gallifreyian, but I will protect you. Even if I have to destroy everything to get to you, I will!"

He was almost shouting now, the tears threatening to flow. He needed her to know, though. He needed her to know that _nothing_ would stop him. Time Lord or not, he would do whatever it took to protect her.

Even from their child.

"Doctor, you can't-"

"I don't care," he almost sobbed. "If this kills you, Rose, I will NEVER forgive myself. I love you, Rose Tyler, and I will stop at nothing to protect you, even from our child!"

She started fading. Rassilon, no, he needed to tell her. He needed to make sure the fetus wouldn't kill her.

"I love you, too, Doctor," she sobbed.

Just before the window closed.

"NO," he shouted, dashing around the consol room. He had to get back to her, make sure she would be safe. "No, no, no, TAKE ME BACK!" He pushed every button he could find, some of which he wasn't entirely sure what they did. All he knew was he had to get back to Rose. "SHE NEEDS ME! Damn it, TAKE ME BACK TO HER NOW!"

He finally surrendered and collapsed to the floor, ignoring the cold metal below him. The tears fell freely, and, for the first time in years, he cried his hardest. His sobs soon turned into screams, and he did nothing to stop them. He couldn't if he tried, anyway.

Worst of all was the pain. Oh, Rassilon, the pain. He was certain both of his hearts were nonexistent at this point. It consumed him, to where all he felt was the old familiar pain from so long ago.

"This was my only chance," he whispered, mostly to himself. He could care less if the TARDIS listened or not. It, like the universe, clearly could care less about him. "This was my chance to be happy for the first time since the war. _She_ was my last chance. And now I've lost her." He bit his lip. He was positive now that he would never see her again. She would forever be lost to him.

"If you can't take me back to her, at least take me somewhere so that I can die in peace," he pleaded. The lights dimmed slightly in response. "Please, I beg of you, if I can't live with her, I'd rather not live at all."

He knew it would never happen. The TARDIS would protect him at all cost, no matter how much he demanded. He was still the Time Lord. He still had a job to do. The universe, as cruel as it was, still needed him.

_Not near as much as my Rose…_

"Rose," he whispered, curling into a ball as the pain returned. "Please, Rassilon, don't let something happen to her."

_I'm so, so sorry, my wonderful Rose._


	2. Guilt And Heartache

_Disclaimer: I own nothing._

* * *

_You guys are amazing. You truly are._

_In appreciation, I have another chapter for you. Granted it's short, but it's vital to the story line._

_So now it's time for Rose's thoughts on the pregnancy and the position her poor Doctor is in. Let me know your thoughts, and I will listen._

_Sit back and enjoy!_

_Love always,_

_Avoline_

* * *

Rose screamed into the pillow. She knew telling him would kill him, but he deserved to know. It was his child that she was carrying, but now she wished she hadn't told him. Now there was nothing that he wouldn't do to get to her, to _them._ He would destroy the fabric of the universe to make sure she was safe, even from his own child.

She screamed again. This child could kill her, and he knew it. Why had she been so irresponsible? Now she faced death, alone. The doctor couldn't save her this time. Not without destroying the one thing he swore to protect. She knew he would never do that. He couldn't if he wanted to. The TARDIS would never allow it.

Yet all she could think of was how badly the news had hurt him. The Doctor, _her Doctor,_ was so hurt and torn, and she knew it. He probably didn't even want the child. He probably resented the child already.

"Rose." She looked up to see Mickey, that sad look on his face. "Rose, sweetheart, you need to eat. It's not good for the baby."

"But what if this child kills me, Mickey," she whispered as he sat on her bed. "What if carrying this child winds up kills me? If it does, and he ever finds out, he'll never forgive himself. Even though it's my fault, Mickey, he will never forgive himself, and he will try his damnedest to get to me, despite the fact that it will destroy the universe."

"Calm down, babe," he soothed, gently stroking her arm. "He's the Doctor. He'll do what's right. He always does."

"But this is different," she protested. "This time it's not something he has to do. It's something he would fight for. It's me." He looked her, confused and slightly put off. "Don't you understand? He would fight an army of Daleks alone before letting anything happen to me. And now I'm pregnant, with his child, and he can't reach me to protect me. He'll break every rule and law he knows just to make sure I'm not in danger, and if you don't think he won't, then you don't know him very well." She buried her face back into her pillow and cried some more. She would never forgive herself for putting the Doctor in this position. And she wouldn't blame him if he was angry with her. He had every right to hate her for this.

"I just wish I could tell him I'm sorry," she sobbed. "I just wish I could tell him how sorry I am for doing this to him."


	3. The Unacceptable Reality

_Disclaimer: I own nothing._

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_Three chapters in one day! You guys are the BEST inspiration EVER! *Has Ten moment*_

_So, this is another chapter from Ten's POV (dear Rassilon, I wish I knew his name) and it's still about as sad as the last two. For the hard-core Whovians, can you guess who's making a guest appearance at the end? :)_

_I won't keep you waiting, so sit back and enjoy!_

_Love always,_

_Avoline_

* * *

He slowly awoke, still on the cold metal floor of the console room. His whole body ached, but it still couldn't dull the pains in his chest. He bit his lip, trying so hard to hold back the sorrow. He needed to focus. He _had_ to find a way to get back to Rose, make sure she was safe.

He had to make sure his child didn't kill the love of his life.

He groaned as he stood. He would have to remember to go to one of the bedrooms next time he has an emotional breakdown. He wondered if Rose was going through the same thing.

Rose. Rassilon, she was probably so scared right now. So scared…

And alone.

His Rose was alone. She was scared and alone, and he couldn't get to her. He couldn't comfort her this time. He couldn't save her this time. He couldn't tell her that everything would be okay. He couldn't help her deal with it.

He closed his eyes and fought to swallow. A lump had formed in his throat. Just the thought of Rose being alone destroyed him.

"You've never taken me where I wanted to go," he forced out, "only where I was needed. This time, though, where I want to go and where I am needed seem to be the same place. Please, just take me to her, or at least somewhere where I can reach her some how. She needs me now more than ever. Please, for the love of Rassilon, take me to her."

The tears formed again. He fought them back. He needed to know if the TARDIS could find a way to get him to Rose. He needed to figure out if he could safely return to her. She _needed_ him, and, if he was being honest with himself, he needed her. He needed her to keep him calm, keep him sane, keep him from doing the unthinkable. He needed her to help keep him better and remind him that he did matter, to someone.

"Look, I know going after her could destroy everything," he nearly sobbed, the pain so much worse than before. "I know I'm suppose to be detached and uninvolved, but this time I can't. She's pregnant, with my child, and if I loose them both, I don't know if I can go on. So please, if at all possible, find a way for me to reach her and bring her back, in one piece, with as little harm to the fetus as possible."

Nothing. He waited, for what seemed like hours, yet nothing happened. No change in the light intensity, no responding sounds. Just pure silence. He waited a little longer, but there was no change in anything.

Finally, after four hours, he collapsed into the consol chair. He had to face the truth now; she was so far beyond his reach that even the TARDIS couldn't take him to her. He would loose them both, and there was nothing he could do to avoid it. No matter how much he pleaded, he couldn't help her this time.

"I get it," he croaked, his voice hoarse from the effort of holding back his emotions. "I can't save her. No amount of will power will allow it. I get it now." A tear fell, and he wiped it away angrily. "But that doesn't mean I have to accept it. And I never will. She is my everything, my life, my hearts. And no matter where you take me, no matter what I have to do next, I will never stop searching for a way to get to her." He pulled his knees up and closed his eyes, once again letting the tears flow freely. "But it wouldn't hurt to have a little help."

A noise from outside snapped him out of his emotion-induced stupor, and he slowly, cautiously made his way to the doors. It almost sounded like the TARDIS, but it wasn't. He would know if it was. Carefully, he opened the door, ready to face whatever was making that noise.

"Hello, Dad," a voice called. "Did you miss me?"


	4. Timey Wimey Wibbly Wobbly

_Disclaimer: I own nothing._

* * *

_I had to upload this chapter again to fix some things, and this is one of them._

_So here we are, four chapters is. I probably need to fix the summary since it clearly won't be a one-shot. I plan on getting started on the next chapter as soon as Whovianly possible._

_And YES! It was Jenny dearest! No, Ten doesn't know who she is, but she knows who he is, and she also knows who Rose is. I plan on explaining that later!_

_So, sit back and enjoy!_

_Love always,_

_Avoline_

* * *

Rose stared out of her bedroom window. She had went numb since yesterday, and no matter how much her parents and Mickey pleaded, she couldn't work up enough of an appetite to eat. She was so scared, for the child she was carrying and for the father of said child. She still couldn't stop thinking that he hated the child, but at the same time, there was hope that he might _want _the child.

She smiled a bit. She knew he would make a wonderful father, and that, at one time, he was a dad. He never spoke of his family much, but when he did, she could tell how much he missed it. Maybe he was thrilled to have the chance at being a father again. Maybe, _just_ maybe, he was trying to find a safe way to get back to her and their unborn child.

She laughed. For the first time in days, she laughed. She could already imagine a little boy with big brown eyes and messy blond hair. She could see him running around the TARDIS, the Doctor close behind him. She could only imagine the joy in the Doctors face as he put the sleeping youngster to bed.

_If only it could happen…_

A familiar noise pulled her from her thoughts. She stared out the window, waiting- no, _hoping_- to see the TARDIS appear in the garden. She knew it was impossible. Not without destroying the universe. Not without putting himself in jeopardy.

Not without killing himself.

She ran for the front door. If it was him, she was going to give him an earful for putting himself in danger. She would tell him how stupid and reckless he was for doing this. She would tell him that she would have been fine without him, that if her mother could do it then so could she.

Then she would hug him. She would hug him so tightly and never let him go. She would hold her Doctor, and know that she was safe again, that _he _was safe again. That nothing would ever separate them again.

She stopped, just outside the door, as a strange looking aircraft landed in the garden. It wasn't her Doctor, but who was it then? The door opened, and Rose held her breath. A small, dainty hand came out, followed by a slender arm.

Rose found herself face to face with a familiar set of brown eyes, but an unfamiliar face.

"Rose Tyler," the younger girl questioned. Rose nodded.

How did this girl know her name? She couldn't be but eighteen, yet she landed the aircraft like a pro. She resembled the Doctor so much, but with blond hair instead. It was neatly pulled into a ponytail, making her features a bit more noticeable.

_So much like my Doctor._

"I'm Jenny," she continued. "I've been trying to find you for a while."

"Why," Rose questioned.

"It's a long story," Jenny answered. "Just know that you will see me again once all this is over."

"Once all what is over," Rose asked.

"Once again, long story," Jenny replied. "Look, I don't have the time to explain very well. I can travel between universes without disturbing anything too badly. I need to get you home."

"But how," Rose inquired softly. "Surely you know that I'm-"

"I do," Jenny cut in. "But that's why I need to get you home. Dad needs you more than you realize."

"Dad?"

"You'll understand later, Rose Tyler. Da… the Doctor, needs you, in more ways than one. You saw how much he cares about you. You know good and well that he _loves _you. Right now, he's not thinking straight. And if he does anything in the state of mind he's in, he'll die."

Rose choked back a sob. He needed her to stay alive. He needed her to keep himself from killing himself. Oh God, she knew she should have lied.

"This my fault," she whispered. "Oh God, this is my fault. I put him in this position. I should have lied and told him Mum was pregnant. Oh, God, he'll never forgive me!"

"It's not your fault," Jenny soothed, putting a hand on Rose's shoulder. "He would have been this way even if you weren't pregnant. Rose, he loves you, and I saw that the first day I saw the two of you. He loves you, and he needs you, and I'm going to help you get back to him."

Rose stared at Jenny. Surely she'd heard wrong. Did Jenny really expect to transport her between universes without any sort of damage to anything.

"Only thing. We'll have to repair my ship."


	5. Hope Renewed

_Disclaimer: I own nothing._

* * *

_And here we go! Two chapters within a twenty-four hour period! :D_

_So now we have the conversation between the Doctor and Jenny. Time to see how she plans on pulling this off. No, she doesn't have Rose with her. Not yet. They have to repair the ship first. I'm trying to stick to that timey-wimey stuff lol! Which means this actually takes place before Jenny ever reaches Rose._

_Confused yet?_

_You will be soon. ;)_

_Anyway, sit back and enjoy!_

_Love always,_

_Avoline_

* * *

"Who are you," he asked. She kind of looked like him, but she also looked like Rose. She had the blond hair, the pinkish skin, and the never-ending smile. She came out of nowhere, and in a space ship of sorts. A _small_ space shit, but a space ship, nonetheless. She seemed to have found something akin to the TARDIS and put it in that ship.

"It's a long story," she answered. "My name is Jenny."

He felt the panic rising again. Oh, Rassilon, don't let this be the child Rose was carrying. If Jenny was his daughter, then he would have missed out on everything. Her birth, her life, her inheritance as the next Time Lord. Or Lady, really. She would never get to know about her true origins. She would never get to hear the wonderful stories of Gallifrey, or go on any adventures with him.

"You're not," he choked out, scared to know the answer.

"I'm your daughter," she replied, "but not in the way you would think. I was created when your ship brought you to a war-ravaged time. Your hand was stuck in a machine that took a tissue sample, and then used your DNA to create me. I have two hearts, like you, and I emit a strange orange-yellow energy when my body is repairing itself."

"Kinda like regeneration," he mused.

"But I don't change," she continued. "When that finally happens, and the fight immediately after you arrive is over, a woman comes out holding a child." He smiled, a small, forlorn smile.

"Rose," he murmured.

"Yes," she smiled. "I'm here to help, but I _have_ to make sure you are in a location where Rose can safely return. Floating in space probably isn't the best place for that considering her current condition."

"Right, right," he muttered. "But how is she going to get here? She's stuck in Bad Wolf Bay, and bringing her back would destroy the universe."

"Not quite," Jenny informed. "One thing I can do, since I wasn't 'born', per se, is travel between parallels. I can bring her back to you, Dad. It might damage my ship a bit, but she'll have the resources to fix it." He smiled, even though tears rimmed his eyes. He could get her back. His Rose was coming home to him. He thanked whatever deity that would listen a hundred times for finding a way.

"I don't think I could ever say thank you enough," he whispered. "You have no clue how much this means to me, Jenny."

"But I do, Dad," Jenny comforted, her smile growing brighter. "I could tell how much she meant to you when I first saw the two of you. You were so happy. Just you, her, and your child."

"You're my child, too, Jenny," he reminded.

"Technically, yes I am," she said proudly. "But I am also created from a machine." He managed a laugh.

_Rose would be so happy right now._

"What's the difference," he shrugged.

"You never rejected Dakota at first."


	6. A Joyous Reunion

_Disclaimer: I own nothing._

* * *

_So, this is my longest chapter yet for this story. Probably cause Ten and Rose do a lot of talking. :)_

_There's really not much to say, or maybe there's too much to say. Who knows. I'll let you get straight to the chapter._

_Sit back and enjoy._

_Love always,_

_Avoline_

* * *

Rose held the door open as Jenny tinkered with a part on the ship. It was almost complete, and she was getting anxious. Surely he was angry with her. There was every reason for him to be. She had been reckless, and now they both would have to live with the consequences.

"There we go," Jenny announced. "Ready to go. All we need now is to get in." She turned to Rose and smiled.

"Are you sure it's safe," the older (_At least I hope I'm older!_) girl asked.

"Of course," Jenny answered. "Otherwise I wouldn't be doing this now would I?" They shared a laugh before climbing into the cramped space. Rose was stunned to see that there was a spacious back seat, and room for at least twenty people behind that.

"You made your own TARDIS," she muttered. "Impressive."

"Really," Jenny questioned. "Thank you. Da- the Doctor has yet to see it."

"He'll love it," Rose assured. Jenny smiled, and Rose could tell she still wasn't convinced.

"I hope so," she whispered. "Now hang on!"

Rose closed her eyes and grabbed at anything that felt like a handle. She was ready; ready to go home, ready to see her Doctor, ready to see if there was a way to get a look at the life growing inside of her. She wanted to tell him how sorry she was, and that if he was angry with her, he had every right to be. She wanted to feel his arms around her, hear his voice telling her that is was okay, look into his brown eyes and see more love in him than she had ever seen in anyone.

"We're here, Rose," Jenny pried gently. "Come on. Open your eyes and get out." Rose forced her eyelids open…

And realized that she was actually quite scared. She was terrified of being rejected by him, even though she knew he loved her. She was _so scared _of his anger being so great, he couldn't even look at her. Oh, God, if that ever happened…

"Dad, she's scared," she heard Jenny calling.

"Jenny, don't" Rose croaked, her voice choked from fear. She didn't want to know if he was angry. She didn't want to know what he had been thinking. She wasn't sure if she could face it.

She heard a set of footsteps running, and she clamped her eyes shut again. She couldn't do it. She didn't want to see him angry. She had already seen him more hurt than ever, and that alone tore her apart. She didn't know if she could deal with seeing him furious.

"Rose?"

Her eyes flew open. He was there, just _meters _away, joy and relief written on his face, his deep brown eyes shining with love. She felt the tears forming in her eyes, and she launched herself forward towards him.

And she was home. His strong arms around her, his overcoat fluttering around them in the breeze, her hands tangled in his soft hair. _This_ was home. This was where she belonged. This was everything she needed and wanted and she wasn't going to let it go again. Her and the baby would be fine now. He would protect them, and she knew it. She wouldn't ever have to worry about loosing him again.

"Oh, Rose," he murmured, his voice barely audible to her ears. "My Rose, my Rose, my wonderful Rose. You're home now. You're right where you need be. Oh, Rose, I'll never let you go again. My Rose."

"I was so scared," she confessed. "I was so scared that you would be angry with me." He pulled back and met her gaze, his eyes shimmering with love and adoration.

_And tears._

"I could never be angry with you," he whispered. "No matter what you've done or what you'll ever do, I can't be angry with you." He laughed, a sad sound despite the smile on his face. "If anything, I've been more angry with myself than anything else." A tear slid down her face at his words. He blamed _himself._ It wasn't even his fault; it was hers.

"Oh, Doctor, don't," she forced out. "It was my fault. I should have been more careful. I knew the risks." His lips met hers, effectively silencing her.

"I never gave you any reason to be careful," he muttered against her lips. "I never thought it was possible. It never crossed my mind." His eyes lit up, letting her know that a thought had occurred to him. "We need to get in the TARDIS. I've got to run a few tests, make sure everything is okay, make sure this isn't going to…" He looked away and swallowed.

"Doctor," she pried. Their eyes met again, and she could see the fear.

"Rose, you have no clue how scared I am right now," he admitted "All I could think, for three days now, was that this would kill you, and it would be my fault. I've never been do scared in my life, Rose. I want this, so badly, but if it kills you, then-"

"Wait," she interrupted. "Say that again." He looked at her, so confused and scared.

"I want this," he repeated, "so badly." She smiled, more relieved than ever. "But Rose, you have to understand, it's only half-human. It could kill you, and I don't know if I could live with that."

"But I'll be fine," she laughed. "I have you. I know you'll take care of us." She leaned forward and kissed him. "For days, since I told you, all I could think was that you wouldn't want our child." He grinned.

"Are you kidding me," he inquired gleefully. "I've already got a name!"


	7. The First Look

_Disclaimer: I own nothing._

* * *

_So, here we are. The next chapter. It's going to be shorter than the last chapter, but it's still just as crucial._

_It's time for our favorite couple to get a look at their child. Anyone ready for their combined thoughts on this?_

_I won't talk too much. The little one is calling. So, here it is._

_Sit back and enjoy._

_Love always,_

_Avoline_

* * *

He pulled the lubricant from the warmer and spread a small bit on Rose's stomach. They were eager, all three of them, to see how far along the new life was. He was a bit giddy, but at the same time scared. He was still terrified for his little pink and yellow alien's life. He wasn't sure how this would affect her, and, to be honest, he didn't want to know. He didn't want to face the reality that this child, _his child_, could kill her.

"Doctor," her voice whispered, pulling him from his thoughts. He looked at her and smiled.

"Yes," he responded.

"You're thinking too hard," she joked. He chuckled.

"I always am."

"Can we get on with it," Jenny interrupted. "I want to see my sibling!" He shook his head. Jenny wouldn't reveal whether it was a boy or a girl, but he prayed for a girl. He wanted another little pink and yellow being that would be half him, half Rose. Someone he could spoil and adore as much as he did his Rose. Someone who could give him _another_ good reason to stay alive.

"What's with her calling you 'Dad,'" Rose intoned.

"It's a long story that hasn't happened yet," he replied. "Once it happens, you'll know why." She smiled, and he felt something- actually _two_ somethings- flutter in his chest. She was the only one who could affect him like that, and he loved it.

"Let's have a look, shall we," he murmured before turning to the screen. He moved the wand around on her stomach, searching for any sign of the fetus. Not a noise was heard as three sets of eyes waited for anything on the screen.

Suddenly, he saw it, and moved the wand back where it was. Rose gasped, and he stared in awe at the tiny little thing moving on the screen.

"Dad," Jenny stated. "Say hello to your new child." He stared for a moment longer, then smiled.

"Say hello to your first born, Rose," he forced out, his voice choked with emotion. "This little child will be so important one day, I just know it."

And it _would_ be important. It would be the rebirth of the Gallifreyian race, and he would teach it how to live in harmony with _every_ creature in the universe. He would instill the fact that there would _always _be a diplomatic solution to everything, that violence never solved anything.

"Oh, Doctor, look," Rose breathed. "It's moving. Oh, it's moving, it's moving. Look!"

"I know, I know," he laughed. "That's good. That means it's healthy." He pressed a few buttons to get a recording of the child. "Judging from the size, you are approximately eight weeks along, and chugging right along. Now all we have to do is make sure that you continue to eat healthy, avoid seafood and shell fish, do regular scans and test, and wait." He met her gaze, and noticed, with a start, that she was crying. "Rose, sweetheart, what's wrong?"

"I just can't believe it's happening," she whispered. He turned to Jenny and nodded, glad when she left the room. "It all just became so real. We're having a child. And that child will be surrounded with so much love and devotion. And seeing you so excited…" She covered her mouth and let out a strangled sound, and he instinctively put his arms around her.

"Rose, I wouldn't trade this for anything in the universe," he soothed. "You are my world, my everything, and now I have more to love. You, my special, special Rose, are the first woman to hold both of my hearts in your hands, in a _long_ time. And now you are carrying my child." A tear slipped from his eye, and she gently wiped it away. "And I could not be more proud and honored." She smiled, and he couldn't help but kiss her.

"So what's the name you have in mind," she questioned. He grinned through the tears.

"Dakota."


	8. Five Hearts In One Room

_Disclaimer: I own nothing._

* * *

_And here is the next chapter! Took me a while cause I wanted to build it up a good bit. Hopefully it's not too short for you guys! :)_

_And did anyone notice that Doctor dearest forgot to check for a heartbeat? Even he can forget something so vitally important. Now it's time to find out if little Dakota is going to have one or two hearts._

_By the way, YOU, my dear readers, are going to determine if Dakota will be a boy or a girl! There is a poll on my profile page. Just go vote and I shall listen!_

_Sit back and enjoy!_

_Love always,_

_Avoline._

* * *

"So, in your excitement, you forgot to check for a heartbeat?"

Rose grinned as they did yet another scan. Jenny had already left, with promise to come by every so often once they'd found a home. In his excitement about the new life, he had forget to check for the most crucial thing. Now, after the excitement has died down, Rose was once again watching the screen.

"Yes, I did," he confessed. "I was too worried about you." He grew quiet, and Rose knew he was _still _worried. She knew he was still scared for her life, and she knew he would find a way to make it all better.

"You know there's nothing to worry about," she soothed. "You always find a way." He sighed and met her gaze.

"Rose, I never thought it was possible," he murmured. "Not like this. Time Lords haven't reproduced like this in_ eons_. They had developed a thing called the Loom, and normally, by this point, the fetus is already in the Loom where the parents can watch it grow. I honestly don't know if it was to protect the mother or the child, but it worked. For the first time in a very long time, I am faced with something I know nothing about, and I don't know what to do or how to make it better." He took a deep, shaky breath. "I just don't want to loose you or the baby." She pulled him into a hug, realizing just how little he truly knew about the situation.

"You aren't going to loose me," she whispered. "I'm right here. I always will be for as long as you need me." She felt his lips on her skin.

"I'll _always_ need you, Rose Tyler," he breathed.

"You'll find a way. You always do." He sighed again.

"But Rose, I don't even have the technology or equipment to set up a Loom," he stated desperately. "What if something goes wrong? What if this child kills you? I don't think I could live with myself if that were to happen, Rose. I don't know that I could go on without you; I truly don't."

"Jenny said that both of us will be there," she reminded. "If we're both there, then I'll be fine." He smiled against her neck.

"True," he agreed. "Rose, listen!" She closed her mouth and listened. She could hear a heartbeat, then another one right after it.

"Two heartbeats," she pointed out softly.

"Two hearts," he mused. She smiled at him. "It has two hearts. Our little Dakota has _two_ hearts."

"Just like it's daddy," she laughed. He pressed his lips to hers, and she returned the kiss.

"Now we know," he chuckled. "Now we know."

"We still need a crib and everything else." He threw his head back and laughed.

"I've already got all that, darling," he assured. "I've stayed prepared just in case I finally decide to settle down." She smiled, but now she was the one scared. What if he _never_ settled down? What if she was left raising their child while he traveled the universe. She knew it was a possibility, and it scared her to no end.

"And when do you plan on settling down," she questioned quietly. He looked at her, somewhat hurt.

"Rose, I thought it would be obvious," he responded. "All this time, you were the only family I had. Now I've got you _and_ Dakota, when he or she gets here." She felt her emotions rising again and she grabbed her hands. "Rose, I promise you, we will have a house, with a huge garden and more rooms than we know what to do with, and we will surround our children with so much love it almost kills them." A smile crept across her face.

"You said children," she choked out. He grinned.

"Did you really think I'd stop at one?"


	9. Starting The Diary

_Disclaimer: I own nothing._

* * *

_I had a brilliant idea, and I decided to see how you guys would like it! Each chapter from here on out, unless it's something big (like the Jenny deal or the Vincent Van Gough or something very significant.) It should set up the mood for each chapter and help the plot line right along._

_So, here's the next chapter. No telling yet whether Dakota is a girl or a boy. And you still have time to decide, my dear readers. I'm going to leave the poll up for three more days, then it's closed. If it's a tie, I'll flip a coin, and you will just have to wait and see. :)_

_Sit back and enjoy!_

_Love always,_

_Avoline_

* * *

_May 23, 2007_

_My little Dakota,_

_I started this diary so that one day, you will read it and know just what happened each day before your birth, and each day until you are eighteen. I guess I'm mostly doing this so I can look back at how much you've grown. You aren't my first born, sadly. But you mean just as much to me._

_Your mummy and I are so excited. We can't wait to meet you, my precious child. And wait until you meet your sister. I guess you could call her your sister. It's a long, complicated story that neither of us have gotten to yet. But we can't wait. You will be a perfect start to our new life._

_I guess I should tell you a bit about yourself. Stuff you'll already know by the time you read this._

_One: You have two hearts, just like me. Don't think that it makes you invincible, though. If one goes out, you'll notice. It's not like the other is a backup._

_Two: Your mother is human, I am not. I wish I could show you my home world, but I can't. It's not there anymore. All I have are stories and the encyclopedias in the TARDIS library. Once you're eighteen, I'll show them to you._

_Three: You are a miracle. I didn't know if I could even have children, or get your mother pregnant the way I did. But it happened, and I could not be happier._

_And four: You will not be the only one. I hope to have so many more just like you. I hope you all take after your mother. I hope you have a fighter's heart, and a lover's soul. I hope you never, EVER kill an innocent person, alien or not, for any reason whatsoever. One day you'll understand._

_I've got to go now. You've started moving, and I love feeling your little feet kick my hands._

* * *

He smiled as he rubbed Rose's small belly. She was barely showing, but she was far enough along that he could feel Dakota moving. She laughed at him once he pressed his ear to her skin.

"Are you going to stay there all night," she inquired. She had a point. It was a little after midnight, and he could tell she was tired. But he didn't want to go to sleep. Now that his child was moving, he didn't want to miss a single thing.

"I just might," he answered cheekily. "It is more comfortable than the pillows." Her hand ruffled his hair, and he tenderly kissed her stomach.

Only to have a tiny foot collide with his lips.

"Did it just kick me," he asked, stunned and somewhat giddy. Rose's laughter reached his ears.

"I think he did," she giggled. He raised an eyebrow at her.

"He," he echoed. "So you think it's a boy?" She smirked at him.

"Yes, I do," she stated matter-of-factly. "He does nothing but kick like he's trying to run. Therefore it must be a boy cause it's just like you." He laughed and pulled himself up to the pillows.

"I think it's a girl," he countered. "Cause she's fighting just like her mother would, and only a girl just like my Rose could kick a man square in the lips and not be phased." She snuggled into him.

"We'll see tomorrow," she whispered.


	10. Gender Reveal

_Disclaimer: I own nothing._

* * *

_And we now have a gender reveal! You guys are awesome! You really are!_

_This diary entry is going to be a bit longer. There are mentions of Donna, of course. Can't leave her out, now can we? I might bring her back for a few chapters if you guys want._

_So, guys, here's the next chapter. I've got to wake my daughter up and get her ready for Mother's Day with me and my mom._

_Happy Mother's Day to all my readers who have children of their own!_

_Love always,_

_Avoline_

* * *

_May 24, 2007_

_My precious Dakota,_

_Today we find out if you are a boy or a girl. I'm praying, with all I have, that you're a little girl. I want so badly for you to be a little girl who looks just like her mummy, and have the fighter's heart to go with it. I want to spoil you until you can't stand it, cause you are the first child in a very long time._

_Who knew just writing this could get me choked up? I'm damn near crying right now, Dakota. But not because I'm sad. No, I could never be sad, ever again. I've got you and your mummy now. I'm happier than I've been in years._

_I had to drop off a woman today before I could write in the diary for you. She just materialized in the TARDIS. I don't know how or why, or even who she was. She didn't appear to be special, or extraordinary in any way. She was just a woman in a wedding dress, and boy, was she mean. She and your mummy faced off, and all I could think was, "Oh, boy, this will not end well."_

_But that mean woman who appeared out of nowhere did something amazing. She saved me, Dakota. Saved me from standing there and damn near drowning. She saved me from my own vengeance towards the Arachnoid empress. I was so angry at the spider bitch, cause she had put you and your mummy in so much danger, and I wanted nothing more than to watch her suffer as her children drowned._

_I don't ever want to be that enraged again, Dakota. Rage does nothing but make you a monster, and that's what I was becoming until the woman, Donna Nobel, saved me. All she said was "You can stop now," but that's all it took. That's all she needed to say to save me from myself. I hope you never have to see me like that, my child. I hope I can bury that side of me forever._

_Well, I've got to go. Your sister is here, and Mummy is quite impatient to find out what you are. She tends to get like that about new adventures._

_Don't ever think, for one second, that you are not loved._

* * *

Rose stared at the monitor, waiting, barely breathing. This was it. They were going to find out if they were having a daughter or a son. She wanted a little boy. Someone to be just like her Doctor, and be more compassionate than anyone else. She wanted to see him grow up to be tall and strong, and maybe have children of his own.

"Alright, there it is," the Doctor murmured. "Now if it'll just shift around so we can see, that would be great." She giggled. He was just as impatient as her. Jenny eager sat next to her father, and the three of them were ready.

Rose couldn't figure out why Jenny was so eager. She already knew, and could just as easily tell them. But she was just as eager and anxious as the duo, so Rose wondered if maybe she's making sure.

"It's moving," the Doctor informed. "It's moving. Just a little bit more, kiddo."

Rose gasped as something came into view. Jenny squealed, and the Doctor stared at the screen. Rose was beginning to wonder if he was having a double heart attack until he turned to her, a huge smile on his face and tears in his eyes.

"A boy," Rose whispered. He nodded. "We're having a son. Oh, Doctor, we're having a little boy." His smile widened as he turned back to the monitor. She knew why he wasn't speaking. He was far too happy, and words would never express his joy. She reached for his free hand and gently squeezed it.

"Oh my God, it's a boy," Jenny squealed, bouncing around the room. "Oh, I'm going to help spoil him and help him get into so much trouble! I'll teach him how to use a gun and how to fight like the best of them and, oh my God, he'll look just like you, Dad, and-"

"Jenny," he interrupted softly. "You're rambling." She giggled while Rose stifled a laugh.

"I get it from you, ya know?"


	11. The Most Beautiful Thing

_Disclaimer: I own nothing._

* * *

_It is a boy! Yep, yep, yep, our Doctor and Rose are having a little boy!_

_So, I've skipped forward a few months in her pregnancy cause I didn't see what more could be needed. I've brought in Martha to help the dear Doctor and Rose. This chapter takes place after the hospital on the Moon incident. Hope you guys enjoy it!_

_Sit back and enjoy!_

_Love always,_

_Avoline._

_P.S: the words in italics are Dakota in baby talk. And this is the LONGEST chapter in this story so far._

* * *

_May 6, 2010_

_My dearest Dakota Matthew,_

_Yes, it's still May. I wanted you born in May in hopes that maybe you would be born on Mother's Day. That would be an excellent Mother's Day gift for your mummy._

_I'm writing this from a hospital (I hate hospitals, by the way) that was on the Moon. I wanted to write before I returned to your mummy. She's probably worried to death right now. She would kill me if she knew a homicidal old lady drank my blood just to keep me from ratting her out to the Judons. Thankfully, a kind doctor named Martha Jones revived me in time to send the building back to Earth. If not for her, I'd be as good as dead._

_I think I'll take Martha with us. One trip to the future, one trip to the past. Fair enough since she saved my life, and the life of countless others. Your mum won't be too pleased, but I get the feeling Martha is going to be more helpful than anyone else._

_Time for me to go again. Martha is getting impatient. Hope she doesn't act like that with her patients._

* * *

He opened the door and let Martha step in first. Rose was probably resting, and this would give Martha the chance to take in the TARDIS before he went and fetched the pregnant woman.

He grinned at the thought. Rose, her belly now huge with their child, ready to give birth at any moment. Everything had been going so smoothly, and he had started to think that she was stronger than he thought. The scans had shown them just how big Dakota was getting. The Doctor only wished he had the equipment to do a 3D scan.

"Doctor," Martha called. "Who is this?" He glanced inside…

And his hearts stopped.

Rose was laying on her side on the floor, her hand stretched towards the console. She was unconscious, and there was fluid everywhere.

"Oh, God, no," he whispered as he ran to her limp form. "Rose!" He cradled her head in his hand. "Rose, wake up. Please, please, wake up!"

"Do you have any way we can monitor the baby," Martha inquired, though her voice seemed miles away. He barely nodded, his thought process impaired by panic. "Doctor, we have to move her! If she's in active labor, it could kill the baby!"

That snapped him out of his fear-induced stupor. He gently scooped Rose into his arms and carried her to the medical wing. Thankfully, the TARDIS had moved it a good bit closer for him. Martha opened the door, and he walked in and gently laid Rose on the bed.

"Look in the third cabinet to the right from the door," he ordered, never leaving Rose's side. "There should be every medical supply we need in there."

Within minutes, they had the monitors hooked up to the blond. He watched both heart monitors, his own hearts pounding against his rib cage.

"We need to perform a cesarean on her," Martha informed. "If we don't, they'll both die." He nodded, and reached for the scalpel. Her hand gripped his wrist. "Let me do it. You're shaking like a leaf."

"That's my child in there," he argued, meeting her eyes.

"And with the way you're shaking, you run the risk of doing more harm than good," she countered. "I'm doing it. Just stand ready with a towel." He sighed in defeat and nodded. Rose and Dakota needed him right now. H didn't have time to argue with Martha.

He felt like hours had passed. Martha seemed to be moving in slow motion. He contemplated making her move faster, but he knew she had to be careful. His child's life was in her hands, the hands of a medical student who seemed to know more about what she was doing than he did. His eyes darted from Martha's hands to Rose's face, then back again. He just wanted this child safe and sound and in his arms. He wanted Rose awake and sharing this experience with him.

A strangled cry came from his right, and he turned to see the most beautiful sight in the universe.

"Congratulations, Doctor," Martha announced, placing the blood-covered newborn in his arms. "It's a boy."

He felt the tears falling down his face before he even realized he was crying. He gently wrapped the towel around his son, trying to keep the infant warm. A large lump had formed in his throat, and all he could do was hold the tiny being close.

"_What's going on_" Dakota screamed. The Doctor was glad that he could understand what the baby was saying. Otherwise this would be awkward.

"You've just been born, my son," he whispered. "Welcome to the universe." Tiny eyes looked at him as Dakota grew quiet.

"_Who are you?_" The older man grinned through the drops of joy.

"I'm your daddy," he replied quietly. "And if she'll wake up, I'll introduce you to your mummy."

"_I'm hungry._" The Doctor looked up to see Martha shaking her head.

"Martha, what's wrong," he inquired.

"She's not waking up," she answered. "It's like her whole body has shut down or something." She turned to him, an apologetic look in her eyes. "She's in a coma." He felt his joy turn to pain in an instant, and Dakota started screaming for his mother.

But she wouldn't be able to answer for a while.


	12. Still Asleep

_Disclaimer: I own nothing._

* * *

_Poor Rose. :(_

_This was what the Doctor was afraid of. He had an idea that this would happen. But fear not. Rose is tougher than she appears._

_This chapter and the next one are still from the Doctor's POV. Since Rose is asleep, the only one who would have any thoughts right now would be the Doctor. The journal entry will be from another journal the Doctor started for Rose._

_Since there's nothing left to say, sit back and enjoy. And, don't try to kill me._

_Love always,_

_Avoline_

* * *

_May 20, 2010_

_My dearest Rose,_

_It's getting harder here without you. I've got Martha here to help me with Dakota, but he keeps looking for you. He knows Martha isn't his mummy. He knows your voice, and all he wants is for you to hold him. But you can't, cause your still asleep. Have been for two weeks now._

_Rose, I'm going crazy without you. I cry every night because I know eventually I'm going to have to make the hardest decision ever. And I don't want to, Rose. I don't want to make that decision. I'm praying to every deity in every religion that you wake up before that time comes. Cause I don't know if I can do what's right this time._

_Rose, I need you. I thought I had discovered that when you were trapped in Bad Wolf Bay, but I was so, so wrong. Now I realize just how badly I need you. Knowing that I can't talk to you, knowing that I can't do anything to fix it AGAIN, knowing that I could have prevented this, knowing that you might…_

_No. I can't think like that. I have to constantly believe that you will live. I have to believe that you will be okay. I have to believe that everything will be fine. I have to believe in you…_

_Dakota is calling. He's scared, Rose. He's scared that he'll have to grow up and never know his mummy._

_Please, please wake up. I'm begging you._

_My Rose…_

* * *

He laid on the huge bed, staring at where her body normally would be. His chest ached, so much more than any other time. He could have _prevented_ this. He could have made sure it never happened. He could have been more careful.

But then he wouldn't have Dakota.

But then Rose would _be _there, next to him.

He closed his eyes and bit his lip. Why did _all _the good things have to come at a price for him? He wanted a child, but now his lover and the mother of said child was in a coma. He couldn't hold her, couldn't watch her nurture their child, couldn't show her just _how much _she meant to him.

He buried his face into the pillow to muffle his sobs. He had never felt so _worthless_ since he met her. He wanted nothing more than to off himself. The universe would be better without him. No more interfering with anything. No more hurting the ones he loved. No more stirring up trouble.

"_Daddy!_"

His self-loathing quickly died. There was still _someone_ who needed him. He was still _important_ to someone. He drug himself out of the bed and wiped his face dry. His feet carried him to the crib in the adjacent room.

"What is it, Dakota," he cooed as he picked the infant up from the crib.

"_Where's my mummy?_"

He bit back the sob that threatened his composure. How many times has he had to answer this question in the past two weeks? How many more times would he have to answer it? He was running out of excuses, and Dakota still wasn't old enough to understand.

_Rose, I need you right now._

"Mummy's asleep, son," he whispered. "Mummy might be asleep a little longer. But I'm right here, Dakota, and I will never leave your side." He held the newborn close to him as he fought back the tears. "Now when she wakes up, don't be angry with her. She couldn't help it, son. She wants to be here with us, but can't. Know that she loves you very much. Once she's awake and able, she will never put you down. You will be surrounded with so much love." He kissed the tiny head. "Now go back to sleep, son. There's nothing to be afraid of. Daddy's here." He started singing, and old lullaby from his own childhood. He wasn't sure if Dakota would understand it, but he hoped that the soft tune would lull the child to sleep.

He wondered if he could teach Rose the lullaby. She would probably pick it up quickly, but she would never know what it was saying. Maybe one day he would teach her Gallifreyian. It would be nice to have someone else who could speak it besides him.

He glanced down to see the baby asleep in his arms. He smiled and laid Dakota back down in the old cot.

_My old cot…_

He knew Rose would nearly cry at the sight. Their child, asleep in his father's old cot. His grin grew. Dakota wouldn't be the only child to sleep in that cot, if the Doctor had it his way. Three children of his own would make him happy.

If only he knew that Rose could handle it each time.

He sighed as he stepped out of the room. If he could guarantee that she _wouldn't_ wind up in a coma each time, he would gladly have more children with her. They would have a hundred if it wouldn't kill her.

He was yanked from his thoughts as the door to the medical room opened. Rose was still asleep, still on the breathing machine that was keeping her alive. His hearts ached at the sight. He wanted to hold her, to tell her that everything would be alright. He wanted to see her nursing their child, and know that _nothing_ would ever keep her from them.

He sat in the chair next to the bed and held her hand. There was so much he _needed_ to say to her, but couldn't. He was afraid that she wouldn't remember.

But he had to try.

"Rose," he murmured. "Oh, my wonderful Rose, how I wish you were awake. Dakota needs you, _I_ need you. Please, please wake up, for me. Please, there's so much I still want to do with you. So much I want to say to you." He pressed his hand to her cheek. "Please, Rose, if you don't wake up soon, I'll be faced with something I don't want to face. I don't want to face the possibility that you might not…" He swallowed around the lump in his throat. In less than six months, he had been reduced to an emotional mess more times than in his whole life. He knew he couldn't afford to think that she might die. But it was a possibility he _had_ to face.

"Rose, please, just wake up. I'm begging you."

_Please…_


	13. The Greatest Idea

_Disclaimer: I own nothing_

* * *

_So much sadness from one man. How does he keep going? That question will forever plague me._

_So here's the next chapter for you guys. I figured I'd be nice and give it to you guys before I call it a night. Be prepared, for you never know what's coming next._

_Sit back and enjoy!_

_Love always,_

_Avoline_

* * *

_June 3, 2010_

_My brilliant Rose,_

_It's been four weeks now. Dakota cries for you more and more each day. I've run out of excuses to tell him. But he's not old enough to even understand what a coma is. All he knows is that he wants his mummy. Like that kid in the gas mask way back when._

_I'm faced with the one thing I never wanted to be faced with. I've got to decide YOUR fate, my Rose. I have to choose between being selfish and keeping you alive, or letting you go. I don't want to let you go, Rose. You're my everything, and I don't know if I can go on without you here. I don't want to have to pull the plug. Martha says that after this long, keeping you alive would only be cruel._

_But Dakota needs you. I keep thinking about Dakota, and it makes it that much harder. I don't want to loose hope, Rose, but it's getting harder to hold on. All I ever do is cry now. All I ever do, when I'm not tending to our son, is sit next to you in that damned medical room and cry. I need you so much, Dakota needs you even more, and it seems like the universe is damn determined to take you away from us._

_Please, Rose, I'd give my life if it meant you would live._

_Just wake up…_

* * *

He sat next to the bed, stroking Rose's fingers as he silently cried. This was never suppose to happen. He was certain that she would wake up by now, and that he wouldn't have to make this choice. He wasn't even sure if he could. Sure, he could easily send another being to their death, but to have to decide the fate of someone he loved…

He buried his face into his arms. Even with Martha's advice, it didn't make the choice any easier.

"Doctor," Martha soothed as she entered. "I know it's tough. But you have to do this. You're the only one who can choose."

"But why me," he half sobbed. "Why do I always have to watch everyone die?" Her hand gripped his shoulder.

"I won't even pretend to understand," she comforted. "All I know is that she's not getting any better or worse. If you still need more time, you can do so." He nodded and stood, knowing he was powerless to do anything else. Dakota was calling for him anyway. His son needed him more than anyone else right now.

"_Daddy, I'm scared!_"

He quickened his pace to a trot and swiftly scooped the infant from the faded blue cot.

"Did you have another bad dream," he cooed. The boy replied with a quiet yes. "It was just a dream, son. Just a really bad dream. Daddy's here now. It's okay, my child."

He knew better than so say that. He knew that it might not be alright. Rose might not ever wake up, might not ever get to hold her first born. But he had to hold on to the last shred of hope he had.

An idea popped into his head, and he turned around and made his way back to the medical room. Maybe, if Rose heard little Dakota, it would bring her back to them.

"What are you doing," Martha inquired.

"I had an idea, and I wanna see if it works," he answered. She followed him, and he was grinning like an idiot by the time he reached the blonde's side. "Rose, sweetheart. You gotta wake up. Dakota's here to see you." Dakota started whining, and the Doctor watched, barely breathing. A soft groan reached his ears…

Just as Rose opened her eyes.

He laughed a little as tears pricked his eyes. His crazy idea worked. It actually worked! She was awake and somewhat alert. He stared into her eyes as Martha removed the breathing tube.

"D-Doctor," Rose whispered.

"Yes, it's me, luv," he murmured. "Me and Dakota. Oh, Rose, he's perfect. He's absolutely beautiful. Just wait until Martha sit you up."

"Martha," she inquired. The darker woman stood next to him.

"Hi, Rose," she greeted. "I've been helping the Doctor out while you were asleep. We haven't went anywhere, so you haven't missed anything." Rose smiled.

"Thanks," she muttered. "Is Dakota okay?" He leaned down and kissed her forehead.

"He's perfect," he soothed. "Just like his mummy."

"_Mummy?_"

"Let me hold him," she pleaded as Martha sat the bed up. He gently placed Dakota in her arms and sat on the edge of the bed.

"Isn't he beautiful," he commented softly.

"_I'm not beautiful! I'm handsome._"

"Fine then, Dakota," he responded. "You're handsome." Rose giggled.

"Just like his Daddy," she added.

"_Mummy?_" She leaned down and kissed the soft skin.

"It's mummy, Dakota," she murmured. "I'm awake now. I won't ever sleep that long ever again, sweetie. I promise." The Doctor kissed her cheek.

"Good," he joked. "Cause I don't think I could go another four weeks without you." Her gaze met his.

"It's been four weeks," she asked, surprised. He nodded.

"And it's been the hardest four weeks of my life," he replied.

"All he did was mope around the TARDIS and sit in here with you," Martha interrupted. He grinned sheepishly as Rose eyed him. "Give it two more weeks and you'll be strong enough to go back to a normal bed.

_And I'll hold you so tightly, my love._


	14. Alone with Dakota

_Disclaimer: I own nothing._

* * *

_Rose is awake now! Time for her to start LIVING again! XD_

_This chapter is a bit short, mostly cause it's from Rose's POV and she's still a bit groggy from the coma._

_I won't say much, so you guys can get right to it!_

_Love always,_

_Avoline_

* * *

_My beautiful Dakota,_

_I hate having to leave you here on the TARDIS. I want to share each adventure with you and your mummy. But she's still not strong enough, and you're still too little. Maybe one day we can do this and not have to worry about you getting hurt, son._

_I gave up on trying to keep up with the date. They don't matter anyway. I know when your birthday is, and THAT is what matters._

_Your mummy is so happy now. She goes on and on about you, and I am so honored to call you my son. I have waited close to seven hundred years to have another family. Although you were a surprise, you are a surprise I welcome with open arms._

_Time for me to go. Martha is eager to see Shakespeare up close. She'll be in for quite a shock._

* * *

Rose whined as he put on his overcoat.

"But I want to come," she begged.

"Rose, sweetheart, you're still not strong enough," he countered sadly. "If we encounter something powerful, it would zero in on _you_, and then you'd…" He trailed off. He didn't have to finish the sentence for her to understand. "Besides, Dakota is too young to leave the TARDIS just yet. He needs you to stay_ here_, with him." She stuck her lip out at him. "I'll come back in one piece. I promise! When have I not?"

"True," she laughed, surrendering at last. "At least bring Dakota over here. Not that I mind him sleeping in your old cot, but I can't guarantee I'll always be able to get up." He chuckled and scooped the infant into his arms.

"You're going to sleep with Mummy for a while," he cooed, and she laughed at the change of pitch in his voice. "Daddy's going to go on an adventure, and you and Mummy have to stay here." He gently placed the swaddled child next to her on the bed. "Try not to roll over onto him, and make sure to wake up when he-"

"Doctor," she interrupted. "You're _rambling_ again." He smiled at her, making her heart flutter.

"I just worry, luv," he answered. "You know that." He kissed her cheek, then Dakota's head. "Just take a little nap and rest up. I'll be back in no time." And with that he left. Rose turned and stared at her tiny child.

"I worry, Dakota," she muttered, mostly to herself. "I worry that he'll leave one day and won't come back. I need him, and so do you." The child whimpered softly. "I know I shouldn't. He almost always handles it. I guess I'm just a worry wart." She could tell the baby was asleep, and soon she, too, was dozing off.

She was awoken by strong arms pulling her close. She smiled at the familiar feeling.

"Good thing time in the TARDIS doesn't move as fast as the outside," he murmured in her ear. "Told you I'd be back in no time."

"That you did," she replied sleepily. She felt his nose nuzzling her neck. "You know I'm not ready for _that_."

"I know, luv," he whispered. "I just need you to know _how much_ you mean to me."

"Why," she inquired, meeting his gaze.

"You know how our relaxation time _always_ turns into use saving the world," he began. She nodded. "Turns out the old bard was being controlled by witches. The used the power of a name on Martha, then tried to use it on me."

"I don't even know your name," she pointed out.

"And they couldn't find it," he continued. "But they found yours and Dakota's in my mind. I lost it. I tried to strangle the bitches. If they had found out where you and our son were…" He nuzzled her neck again. "Thank Rassilon, Will figured out how to fight them. Otherwise…" Her lips met his.

"I know," she soothed. "You don't have to finish. I get the idea." He smiled against her skin.

"Good," he breathed. "You and Dakota are my _life_ now. I don't know if I could go on if something happen to either of you."

"Same here," she muttered. "Now, if you don't mind, _I'm_ going back to sleep. There's bottles in the mini-fridge and you know where the diapers are."


	15. A Few Days Along

_Disclaimer: I own nothing._

* * *

_ I am way too tired to think. Why am I still up, you ask?_

_Cause I wanted to give you guys another cute, fluffy chapter._

_Yep, I finally got this chapter ready for you guys! Sorry it took me so long. Real life got in the way, and I finally got Season seven, Part 1 on DVD. Spent about five hours watching both discs. Go figure._

_So, sit back and enjoy!_

_Love always,_

_Avoline_

* * *

_My wonderful Dakota,_

_You are three months old now. I look at you every day and can't believe how much you've grown in only three months. And today is a big day for you. You get to meet your grandmother, Jackie. She'll be watching you for a few days, son. She's been dying to meet you._

_Your mum could use a break anyway. She's been so devoted to you, and I know she wants to go on another adventure. I hope I can give her a weeks worth of adventures in three days. She'd like that, wouldn't she?_

_I've got to go now. Your grandmother is banging on the doors of the TARDIS. As always…_

* * *

He gently lifted little Dakota out of the cot and cradled him close. Rose was chatting with Jackie and Peter, who had insisted that Mickey fix the parallel transport devices once Jenny has picked up Rose. Jackie was eager to meet her grandson, and was curious as to how he was doing since he was half-human.

"Dakota," he whispered. "There's someone who wants to see you. They've traveled a long way, son. About as far as you and Mummy did when you were still in Mummy's tummy." He chuckled a bit.

_Mummy's tummy._

He carefully made his way to the console room, praying he wouldn't wake the sleeping infant. He enjoyed the conversations with his son, but he knew better than to wake a sleeping baby. He wanted Dakota's first encounter with his grandparents to be as smooth as possible. He could hear the chatter of the mother-daughter duo as he neared the console room.

"You know Mickey finally found himself a girlfriend," Jackie gossiped. "She's sweet, a bit bossy, but that's what he needs. That's why he clung to you for so long, ya know."

"I can believe that," Rose laughed. He grinned at the sweet sound.

"There's the little bugger," Peter stated as he spotted the older (_Or am I younger?) _man. "Sound asleep, eh?"

"Yes, he is," the Doctor replied as he neared. "I didn't want to wake him up."

"'e looks like an angle," Jackie cooed.

"He's a good little baby," Rose smiled, watching her mother gently lift the sleeping form. "He barely cries unless he's hungry or scared, and apparently the Doctor can speak baby."

"As a matter of fact, I can," he said cheekily. "How else would I know when he wants his mummy?" Rose grinned at him, and he returned the smile.

He was amazed at how quickly she had recovered. Only two months ago, she was just waking up from the coma. Now, though, she was ready for an adventure, and he had the perfect one in mind. He just hoped that she was strong enough to handle it. They might run into Donna again, and she might join them. It would be interesting having two very strong willed women in the TARDIS, but he was pretty sure he could handle it.

"He only take about five ounces of milk per bottle," Rose instructed, breaking his train of thought. "I've got that cooler filled with milk, so there should be more than enough for a few days. If not, just let me know and I'll get some more to you."

"We can just go to the store, honey," Pete chuckled. All eyes turned to him. "Not that kind of milk?"

"Not at all," Jackie answered. He simply nodded, his face a flaming red. "I handled raising you, Rose. I think I can handle a few days with Dakota." Rose leaned down and kissed her son's head.

"I'll see you in a few days, Dakota," she whispered. The Doctor gently stroked the infant's cheek.

"You be sweet, you hear me," he murmured. "You be as sweet to your grandmum and grandpa as you are to me and Mum. We all love you, Dakota." The four of them laughed as Dakota whined in response.

"You two be careful, you understand me," Jackie ordered. The Doctor raised his right hand.

"I solemnly swear that both of us will come back in one piece," he answered cheekily. Jackie shot him a look before they each said goodbye.

"Now it's just me and you again," she whispered in his ear. He turned and pulled Rose against his body.

"Just me and my Rose," he mused aloud. She giggled and pressed her lips to his. He pulled her even closer, pressing their bodies together.

The kiss seemed to last forever, but held so much emotion, for both of them. For him, it resembled his need and want, and how not having his little pink and yellow alien could drive him to madness. For her, it was an unspoken apology. She didn't need to apologize to him for anything, he thought. But she always would, and he would tell her each time that she didn't have to. In his eyes, she could do no wrong. Even when she would do something he told her not to, he could never blame her. She was naturally so curious, so adventurous. How could he think it wrong?

"I guess we're just going to stand here and kiss the whole time," she breathed as their kiss came to a close.

"I wouldn't mind," he stated softly.


	16. When In Rome

_Disclaimer: I own nothing._

* * *

_And it's time for another fluffy, happy chapter! Once again, timey wimey stuff, so for the Doctor and Rose, it's been three days time._

_And guess who's back?_

_I won't say much, so you guys can get straight to the chapter._

_Sit back and enjoy!_

_Love always,_

_Avoline_

* * *

_My precious, precious Dakota,_

_It's only been a day of your time, but your mum and I have had at least three days worth of adventure. We found Donna while investigating the Adipose pharmaceutical company. Who knew tiny little molecules in a pill could turn human fat into a baby Adipose? Yes, they're aliens, not just a random name. Your mum and Donna got to laughing as they waved good-bye to the Adipose. "We're waving at fat," Donna had said. She's been traveling with us since. We've seen Pompeii, the Ood (don't ask), and crashed into a space liner called the Titanic!_

_Today, we're going to Rome. Just a little vacation, no adventuring or nothing. Your mum deserves to relax, and I feel like spoiling her a bit._

* * *

Rose laughed as she stepped out of the TARDIS. It was modern-day Rome, and she was somewhat shocked he didn't go with Ancient Rome.

"Modern-day," she giggled. Donna stifled a laugh as the Doctor grinned sheepishly.

"I was hoping we could take a little vacation," he answered. "Just some time to relax." She smiled and grabbed his hand, squealing as he yanked her to him.

"Oi! Love birds!" The both turned to Donna. "I don't know about you, but I'm bloody hungry!"

"So am I," the blond agreed. "Maybe some true Italian spaghetti would fix that." He leaned down and kissed her cheek.

"Spaghetti it is, then," he whispered in her ear, sending shivers down her spine.

He had done that numerous times since her parents picked up Dakota. He knew all it took was a _slight_ change in his voice for her to know what he was feeling, what he was thinking about. She knew he knew just what to do to get her going. Even simple things, such as figuring out dinner, take a more sensual turn when he does_ just_ the right thing. She was beginning to think he enjoyed teasing her with the subtle hints.

"I see a restaurant right there," Donna exclaimed, her voice brimming with excitement. The trio made there way to the diner, laughing and joking as though they had known each other for decades. They each ordered a plate of spaghetti, and relished the different herbs and seasoning used in the Italian dish.

"I never knew spaghetti could taste like that," Rose mused.

"Of course," the Doctor replied matter-of-fact like. "I would have thought you already knew."

"Did ya, know," Donna injected. "We're British! We don't have _that_ many authentic Italian restaurants!" The three of them laughed, Rose nearly choking on a bit of noodle.

"Oh, Rose," he murmured apologetically. She gave him a confused look. "Your dress." She glanced down at the white sundress to see a large tomato sauce stain.

"I can get a new one," she countered. "They can't be that much."

"I can help you pick one out," Donna offered, literally bouncing in her seat. Rose laughed at the older woman's enthusiasm. Donna reminded her _so much_ of her own mother, and it was hard sometimes to remember that Jackie was enjoying time with Dakota.

"Then you two go shopping, and I'll meet you at the TARDIS in a few hours," he instructed. They all agreed, and soon Rose and Donna were striding along the shops of Rome.

"So, Donna," Rose started, hoping to strike up a conversation, "are you a mother?"

"Actually, no," Donna answered sadly. "I was walking down the aisle when I suddenly just materialized inside the TARDIS. I was so angry at having my 'perfect day' ruined, and at first, I blamed the Doctor."

"I remember that," Rose muttered. "We kinda butted heads."

"We did," Donna chuckled. "You were pregnant and hormonal, and I was in a bad place emotionally and mentally. Thankfully, the Doctor stopped us from killing each other." Her eyes met Rose's. "If I remember correctly, the two of you were about to find out if you were having a boy or a girl." Rose grinned.

"It's a boy," she announced happily. "Dakota Matthew. He's with my mum and dad right now."

"I bet he's adorable," the older woman praised. "About as adorable as that dress over there." Rose turned to see a baby blue strapless dress hanging in an open storefront.

"Oh, my God," she exclaimed. "That is too cute!" The duo made their way to the dress, checking the price tag and the size.

"There is no way you can turn this down," Donna persisted.

"I know," Rose stated. "And I'm not going to! I'll find a bathroom and change into it once I pay for it."

"Go ahead," Donna pushed. "I'll go see if I can find a cute scarf or hat to go with it." Rose voiced her agreement, then got in line with the dress. She paid for it, then found a bathroom where she could change. She could already see the Doctor's face as she slid the dress over her head and tossed the stained one in the bag. She stepped out of the bathroom…

And screamed as a beam of light transported her away, leaving only the bag behind.


	17. Fear Like No Other

_Disclaimer: I own nothing._

* * *

_Tricked ya!_

_Yeah, it started off happy and fluffy, but it didn't stay that way for long. It never does when the Doctor's involved. _

_But don't worry. There's always someone who can save the day. And they'll make a special guest appearance in this chapter._

_So, without further ado, here's the next chapter. Sit back and enjoy.__As a reward, I have decided to upload this chapter early._

_Love always,_

_Avoline_

* * *

_Dakota,_

_I have made a HUGE mistake._

_I should have known. I should have known that time to relax would never happen for your mum and I. I should have known that my worst enemy would find her. I should have known._

_The Daleks have her. They just transported her away and left the shopping bag behind. Donna found it, tried to find your mum. Only after she and I were in the TARDIS did I get a message from them. If they don't find me within twenty-four hours, she dies._

_It's already been twenty-two hours._

_I won't tell them where I am, but I'm getting desperate. They're going to give her two hours to tell them where I am, then they'll kill her. Rassilon help me, they'll probably make me watch from the TARDIS._

_I am so sorry, son. I'm sorry that I couldn't protect her. I'm sorry that my recklessness might cost you the most important woman in your life._

_I'm sorry that I'm not strong enough to be what you need._

* * *

He watched the screen, his hearts pounding so hard, he was almost certain they would break his ribs, while Donna stood silently by his side. This was one time he was thankful for Jackie's persistence. Dakota didn't need to see this. Even though the boy wouldn't remember, the Doctor wasn't sure if he could live with himself if his son saw this.

"Rose, just tell them," he yelled, knowing she would hear. "Tell them where I am. Please!"

"We will only ask one more time," the Dalek reminded Rose. She stood firm, her head high, her will just as strong as theirs. "Where is the Doctor?"

"Rose, please, I'd rather die than watch them harm you," the Doctor screamed, near tears and near defeat. If there was anytime he was being the most honest, it was now. He would rather die a slow, painful death than watch them interrogate her any more. Dakota needed his mother, and she was being stubborn again. If this was the day she died, the Doctor would forever blame himself for letting her do this.

"I will not betray him," Rose answered calmly.

"Rose, I'm not worth it," he shouted desperately. "Just tell them and make a break for it, I'm begging you!"

"I'm sorry, Doctor," she whispered, just loud enough for it to pick up on the small, hidden microphone. "I grew up without my Daddy, and I can't let Dakota go through the same thing."

A strangled sob passed his lips. She was willing to die just so Dakota would have his father growing up. The Doctor couldn't fathom why, but he could at least respect it.

But it still didn't change his mind. He wasn't worth dying for, not after all the failed attempts at being everything she needed. She had almost died numerous times _because_ of him, yet she was willing to die _for _him. He didn't deserve her, and he probably would never figure out why she would willing choose to stay with him.

"Rose, please, just tell them," he half-sobbed. "You are my everything, and Dakota needs you so much right now. I'm not _worth_ it. I'm not worth a child loosing his mother. Please, for the love of all things precious, just _tell_ them. Tell them where I am, and it will all be over. They'll leave you and Dakota alone."

To his shock, he could see that she was crying. The tears were falling down her face, and she was trying so hard to hold back the barely audible sobs.

"Emotions are weak," another Dalek shouted. "They will not help you now."

"Rose, just tell them," he pleaded one last time. "Please, I am begging you, with all my soul, tell them."

"I can't," she murmured. One of the Daleks charged his weapon…

And the Doctor looked away. He clamped his eyes shut and let the tears fall. She would die, he just knew it. She would die, and it would be _his_ fault. He would have to tell Dakota how he couldn't save his mother, how she died because she felt the need to protect a man who wasn't worth it. A very prominent ache formed in his chest, and he was sure it was because his hearts were shattering. Donna's hand gently grasped his shoulder, and he knew there was no way she was watching.

He heard a zap over the speaker, and he fell to his knees. A scream tore from his throat as the tears fell harder. He was alone _again_. He had now forever lost the one person who made him_ better_. He needed her, and she was gone. This time, there was no trying to get to her. There was nothing he or the TARDIS could do to save her. His body shook as he mourned for her. This would probably be his last time in the-

"Doctor!"

His head jerked up and his eyes snapped open. She was standing near the doors, her face still wet from the tears.

"Rose," he croaked. "Rose, how did you…"

"You have me to thank for that."

He looked behind her to see Jack Harkness, a triumphant smile on his face. The older man shifted his gaze from Jack to Rose, then back again.

"He still has the teleport device," she explained, moving to crouch next to her lover. "He saved my life, Doctor."

"But at a cost," Jack cut in. "The Daleks got away." The Doctor shifted to a sitting position, his hand resting on her knee. His eyes met hers, and he drank in the apologetic look. If anyone was going to be apologizing, it should be him.

"I don't care," he whispered. "They don't have my Rose anymore. We'll get them another day." Jack nodded.

"Thanks again, Jack," Rose interrupted. "Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to spend some time with the Doctor… _alone_!" She turned to him, and Jack simply nodded. He zapped out of the TARDIS, and Rose turned back to the trembling man.

"Rose, I'm sorry," he began as her hand caressed his face. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I should have never put you in that kind of danger. I should have never left you there to deal with them alone."

"Shh, Doctor, it's okay," she soothed. "I'm alive, you're alive, and the Daleks are gone. The world is safe again, and I've still got you." He gently grasped her wrist and nuzzled her palm.

"But I was being reckless again," he nearly cried. "I put you in unnecessary danger, and I almost got you killed. I'm not worth your life, Rose. Dakota needs you more than he needs me."

"You know that's not true," she scolded. "He needs both of us, and I need you." He wrapped his arms around her middle and pulled her close.

"I need you, too," he forced out. "But seeing them hold you hostage like that… Hearing them threatening to kill you… Rose, it should have been me." Her hand stroked his hair, the action so tender and loving, it brought more tears to his eyes.

"They wouldn't have stopped at you. They would have tried to conquer the Earth, then the universe." Her lips pressed against the top of his head.

"But your life is worth more than mine." He heard her giggle.

"I'm not the one who just saved the universe," she countered.

"Rose, don't you understand," he insisted. "You are my everything. I have put you in more danger than I should, and you have almost _died_ because of me. What if one day I can't save you? I understand you wanted Dakota to have his father there, but I'm not worth it. Not after everything I've done." He leapt to his feet and started pacing. "Dakota needs you, too. He'll need you more than anyone else, even me. He called for you every day while you were in that damned coma, and it _killed_ me to tell him that you couldn't hold him just yet."

The tears were falling again. Why did he have to be so damn tender-hearted? She needed him to be strong, and he couldn't even do that.

"I'll never know what you see in me, Rose," he whispered as he sank into the only chair nearby. "I'll never understand why you insist on staying when you know how dangerous it is. I've come so close to failing you more times than I can count, and I'm so damn _scared_ that I'll fail you in every way."

"The only way you could fail me is by getting yourself killed," she argued. "Dakota does need you. He needs you to show him what kind of man he needs to be when he grows up. He needs you to show him how a man should treat a woman. I never had that, and it's a miracle that I knew what to look for in a man at all. Mickey never had that, and he doesn't have a single clue how a true relationship works because of it." She stood, and before he knew it, she was straddling his lap. He met her eyes, and nearly cried at the amount of love shining in them. "Doctor, I couldn't have told them if I wanted to. There's this side of me that _refuses_ to hand you over to them, and no matter how much I could try to fight it, it wins _every time_. If it was the other way around, you would do the same thing." He managed a laugh at her words.

"True," he whispered. "Too true. I would have let them kill me." She leaned forward, and he claimed her mouth in a passionate kiss. "You mean too much to me, my wonderful Rose." He felt her nuzzle his neck.

"And you mean more to me than anyone, aside from Dakota." He traced circles on her back, wondering if he was absentmindedly writing Gallifreyian on her skin. "Just promise me one thing."

"Anything," he answered quickly.

"Promise me you'll never love another woman," she requested. He gently pushed her back and met her gaze once more.

"Oh, there will be another, trust me," he murmured. "She'll be short, cute, and she'll call you Mummy, and I will love her so much it hurts." She lightly smacked his arm as she laughed.

"Smart arse."

"Did the two of you forget about me?"

The duo turned to see Donna standing off to the side.

"I've been standing here, watching the two of you the whole time," she continued. "Not trying to be insensitive, but I'm ready for another adventure!"


	18. Shaken to the Core

_Disclaimer: I own nothing._

* * *

_That last chapter was most definitely the longest chapter I have ever written. So packed with emotion and tension._

_This chapter is going to be a bit happier and fluffier. I'm guessing you guys don't trust me with that. I don't blame you one bit, tbh._

_So, without further ado, here's the next chapter. Sit back and enjoy!_

_Love always,_

_Avoline_

* * *

_Dakota,_

_Your mum is safe now. She's back on the TARDIS, back safe in my arms. Jack saved her, the wily idiot. He risked his life and saved her._

_I won't put her in that kind of danger again. I swear on my life I won't. She means so much to me, and you need her. She thinks you need me more, but I know every child would rather have their mum than their dad. I know I would if I had the choice._

_I was so scared, Dakota. Scared that I had failed her. Scared that you would have to grow up without her. Scared that I had once again hurt everyone I hold dear. Donna keeps telling me that it wasn't my fault, but it was. I knew, in the back of my head, that we will never get to relax. Not until the Daleks and the Cybermen and even the damn Weeping Angels are gone for good. Not until I know you and your mum will never have to fear for your life at the hands of my enemies._

_Maybe one day, I'll do what I know I need to do. Right now, though, I just can't make myself commit genocide on that large of a scale. Maybe one day, I'll be strong enough…_

_Unless your mum does it for me. That would be a sight._

* * *

Rose quietly stepped into the console room. The Doctor stood before the console, leaning against it. She could see him just barely trembling.

"Doctor," she whispered as she neared. He turned to look at her over his shoulder. "Is something wrong?" He sighed and turned completely, and she noticed the look of fear and defeat.

"Can't sleep," he muttered. She stepped closer and reached for his hand.

"Bad dreams," she questioned.

"More like nightmares," he breathed. "I just keep seeing those damn Daleks over and over. Each time they kill you, but it's different every time." Tears form in his eyes, and she pulled him into a hug. "Rose, I was so scared. Scared that I would have to watch them kill you, scared that I would have to tell your family that you died protecting me. You're mum would never forgive me, and you know it."

"It wasn't your fault," she soothed. "Mum would understand. She would have to. She knows you would never intentionally hand me over to them."

"But I didn't protect you like I promised," he half-sobbed, his face buried in her neck. "I promised her that I would protect you, and I failed so miserably."

"How?"

"Cause I was naïve enough to think that we could have a vacation. Cause I actually thought we could relax for once. I should have known it would back fire. I should have known that they would fuck it up. I should have known that we wouldn't be safe, even in a heavily populated area. I knew the risk, yet I decided to ignore them and put both you _and_ Donna in danger. I _knew_."

"But I'm still here," she reassured. "They didn't kill me. You didn't fail. Just stop crying, please? Before you get me to crying." She wiped away his tears as he took a few deep breaths.

"I wish I could be stronger for you," he murmured. "I wish I didn't cry at the drop of a hat when it comes to you. You deserve so much better."

"It doesn't get any better than this," she comforted, meeting his eyes. "I get to go on an adventure every hour of every day. I have a beautiful son who has his daddy's eyes. It truly doesn't get any better." He managed a smile and bent down to kiss her. "I love you more than you realize."

"And I love you too, Rose Tyler," he breathed against her lips. "I have loved you since our first 'date.'" She hid her face in his chest and giggled.

"We had chips," she laughed. "Chips!"

"I know," he laughed, his sadness far from his mind. "You smelled chips, and suddenly you wanted chips! It was like you were already pregnant!" They shared a laugh as they tumbled into the chair. Her eyes met his again, and she prayed he wouldn't notice the twinge of hurt. "Rose, what's wrong?"

_Well, fuck._

She didn't want to tell him. It would kill him to know. Even though it wasn't his, she knew how he was. Her own mother didn't even know, for crying out loud!

"Rose?" She sighed and rested her head on his shoulder.

"If I tell you, you have to promise not to go all Oncoming Storm on me," she requested.

"I promise," he vowed.

"When we went on that 'date,' I… kinda sorta was pregnant," she replied softly. She held her breath, waiting for his answer.

"What do you mean 'kinda sorta,'" he inquired.

"I didn't know until Bad Wolf, when I looked into the Time Vortex," she began. "When you were asleep after that botched regeneration-"

"Which was your fault by the way," he pointed out. She smacked him lightly.

"How was I suppose to know," she argued. "Anyway, I woke up in the middle of the night from horrible stomach pains. I _thought_ they were just menstrual cramps…" The duo were silent for a while.

"But they weren't," he mused. She buried her face into his jacket as the emotions overtook her. His arms held her tightly as she wept.

It wasn't fair. To her, to Mickey, or to the Doctor. That child deserved just as much of a chance to live as Dakota. Yet her being stupid killed that chance before it even had time to truly live.

"Oh, Rose, sweetheart," he soothed, petting her arm as she cried. "It wasn't your fault. You didn't even _know_. Don't cry, love, please. Don't cry."

"But it could have been Dakota," she sobbed. "It could have been our son."

"But it wasn't, love," he whispered in her ear. "Our son is alive and healthy. You knew this time around, and you did _so good_. I couldn't be more proud." One arm disappeared, then she heard something flip open. "Open your eyes, love." She forced her eyes open…

And saw the most beautiful ring she had ever seen. It was simple, true, but it was _beautiful_ in it's simplicity. A plain, golden band with three small diamonds. She wondered where in the universe he found it.

"Doctor, is that," she began, her voice faltering.

"It is, love," he answered softly. "I had planned on asking you in Rome, but as always, plans don't go the way I hope they will. Now that I know you're _safe_, I can ask and know that you won't get snatched away again." He took a deep breath before turning her face to his. "Will you marry me, Rose Tyler?"

She stared, shocked at how quickly things had changed. From one emotion to another, like water flowing in a river. One minute, they were laughing, then crying, and now he was _proposing_ to her.

And she was over thinking it as always.

"Yes," she breathed. "Yes, Doctor, _yes_!" She flung her arms around his neck as he pulled her impossibly close.

This was it. This is what she had always wanted. She was simply waiting on him. If she had known that he would propose in Rome, she would have _never_ left his side. Now, she would never have to.

"You still owe me a new dress," she joked. He laughed at her cheekiness.

"I think an elegant, white dress will do."


	19. Can't Catch A Break

_Disclaimer: I own nothing._

* * *

_And my husband, the trucker, has my laptop. So I am having to write this from the desktop. Not impossible, just a tad bit irritating._

_Anyway, YES, they are getting married! 3 Of course, Jackie will probably plan the whole thing herself, knowing her. There's a link to Rose's wedding dress on my profile page, cause it's just too beautiful to describe with words. I might have to find one just like it for my vow renewal, if we can ever get around to saving up for it._

_Does anyone want to see how the Doctor handles a traditional Earth wedding? :P_

_Won't say too much, seeing as though it's about 2 a.m. Insomnia is a blessing at times._

_Sit back and enjoy!_

_Love always,_

_Avoline_

* * *

_Dakota,_

_Today is another big day. It's our wedding day. You're only six months old, but you will remember this day in pictures and stories. Your grandmum Jackie planed the whole thing in three months time. Quick, isn't she? __Hopefully, nothing will happen today._

_I just wish Donna was here._

_I hate that I had to wipe me, you, EVERYTHING, from her memory. But it was for her own good. All the information would kill her, and if she remembers even one thing, she's gone. I couldn't live with myself if that were to ever happen._

_But Jenny will be here. She's your mum's maid of honor. I think it's a perfect fit. Two blonds. Ha!_

_Today should go perfectly..._

* * *

The Doctor fixed his bow tie for the eighteenth time. He was nervous, as should any man be. Jackie had planned the whole wedding, right down to every little detail. He wasn't even _allowed_ to see Rose's wedding dress, for Rassilon's sake! It was his wedding too! Did he not have a say in it?

"You nervous, mate," Mickey asked as he attempted to tie his own bow tie. Mickey had teleported himself there so he wouldn't miss their special day. Upon arrival, Jackie volunteered him as the Doctor's best man. Not that the older man was complaining, but, once again, no say what so ever.

"Wouldn't you be," he shot back with a grin. "I'm shocked Jackie let me wear my trainers!" A laugh reached his ears.

"She's a bit of a control freak, that's for sure," Mickey chuckled. "I show up and it's _instantly_ 'Mickey, you're going to be the best man!'" The duo shared a good laugh.

"We better get out there," the Doctor stated seriously. "Jackie would have my head if I was late." Mickey nodded, and together they made their way to the alter.

After what seemed like ages, the wedding started. The Doctor smiled as Jackie was escorted down the aisle, holding little Dakota, the grin only widening as Jenny followed in a simple strapless red dress.

"What's her number," Mickey whispered as he took his place next to the Doctor.

"Rule number one about dating _my_ daughter," the older man answered. "Don't. Never gonna happen."

The crowd rose to their feet, and the Doctor turned to see the most beautiful sight ever.

Rose was slowly making her way up the aisle, her father escorting her. Her dress, which he could tell was certainly _NOT_ picked by Jackie, hugged her body so perfectly, and was very similar to the dress she wore when they met Charles Dickens. He knew, from the second he laid eyes on it, that she was thinking of that day.

Cause that was the first day he told her she was beautiful.

He glanced over at Mickey to see that the young man was crying.

"She's beautiful," he managed. The Doctor turned his gaze back to his bride, tears in his eyes.

"She always was," he murmured.

Soon, she was standing before him, and he could see the tears in her eyes.

_We're going to wind up a snotty, crying mess._

"Ladies and gentlemen," the bishop began, "we are gathered here today to witness-"

A child's scream came from behind Rose, and everyone turned to see Dakota reaching towards his parents. The Doctor turned to the bishop.

"One moment, please," he requested before trotting to the infant and scooping him into his arms. He sprinted back to his position and turned back to Rose.

"I guess he didn't want to feel left out," the bishop joked.

The rest of the wedding went by like a blur. He remembered taking Rose's name, changing his alias from John Smith to John Tyler. He remembered saying "I do," and Rose saying it as a tear slid down her face. He remembered thinking everything was going too smoothly.

"Doctor," Rose's voice whispered as they made their way to the reception. "You're over thinking it again." He grinned and claimed her mouth in a kiss.

"It's just going too perfectly," he answered.

"I know," she agreed. "I'm waiting on some crazy alien that I haven't seen to show up and ruin it."

"I think I would _kill_ them first," he joked.

The reception went smoothly as well. The cake was cut, toast and speeches were made, and he and Rose took the dance floor for their first dance as husband and wife. He stared into her eyes, waiting for some sight of regret.

"If you think I'm gonna change my mind, think again," she murmured. "I don't regret a single thing." He smiled at her.

"Neither do I," he echoed. "Aside from Dakota's birth, I haven't been this happy in a _long_ time, Rose. A very long time." She laughed and leaned towards him. He bent down and claimed her mouth mouth in another passionate kiss...

Just as a familiar cackling filled the air.

He pulled his new wife close to him as his head snapped up. The empress of the Racnoss was there. How, he wasn't sure, but she was. And she was out for blood.

"Where is the doctor-man," she demanded. He slid a hand into his pocket.

"Right her, Racnoss," he shouted. She turned to him.

"Oh, doctor-man, you have made a grave mistake," she sneered. "Now that there's only me, I shall feed on you and your bride!" Rose gasped, and he spotted Peter and Mickey, both holding axes.

"You said last time we met that you would feed on me," he taunted, keeping her attention on him. "But I won in the end. What makes you think this will be any different?"

"Because you are too busy protecting your new wife," she spat. Mickey and Peter were so close. "You aren't even armed, and if you were, you would only have one free arm!"

"True," he mused. "But I have one thing now that you don't."

"And what would that be," she inquired angrily. The ax-wielding duo were waiting on his command.

"A family," he announced proudly. Mickey and Peter struck, hacking away at her neck. She screamed and tried to back away, but she couldn't out run the men. The Doctor watched, filled with absolute rage, as they efficiently chopped her head off. It rolled to his feet, her eyes staring up at him. "We will always win."


	20. Doing Domestic

_Disclaimer: I own nothing._

* * *

_So, here I am again, doing some late-night writing. Go figure. Insomnia is weird._

_Anyway, yes, their wedding was officially crashed. As is life with the Doctor. At least Mickey and Peter were prepared._

_So, now, it's on to the honeymoon. Who's ready to see that go down?_

_WARNING: might get a little smutty. :) You're welcome._

_Love always,_

_Avoline_

* * *

_Dakota,_

_I know you were only suppose to spend three days with your grandmum. But she insisted that your mum and I go on our honeymoon without you. I wanted to bring you with us, and broke both of my hearts to hear you cry. She's too stubborn, your grandmum._

_I've got a surprise for your mum. I think she'll love it. I really think she will. It's something all of us can enjoy throughout life. I promise. And I always keep my promises._

_Got to go. Time to show your mum her surprise._

* * *

Rose followed her husband, still shaken from the Racnoss attack. She knew him, or so she thought. He always tried to find a diplomatic solution for everything. Yet he had stood there like a stranger while her dad and her best friend hacked the creature's head off. She barely recognized him in that instant.

"Rose," his voice called as they neared the TARDIS. "Is something wrong?" She sighed and met his gaze.

"At the reception," she began, "when the Racnoss attacked, I was waiting on you to find a peaceful solution. But you just stood there, holding me, and you looked like..." She shook her head. "I don't even know. It was like I was clinging to a total stranger. You let my dad and my best friend kill her." He gently grasped her hand.

"Rose, she had attacked before," he explained. "I only give one warning, and I gave it to her. She killed two men that night, and had every intention of killing Donna. Tonight, her sights were on me, you, and our child. She had her warning, she ignored it, and now she paid the price. Rose, if she had touched you or Dakota, I would never forgive myself. Things have changed. I have a family now, and I will kill anything that tried to harm you or anyone else." She stared at him.

"You'll still find a diplomatic solution first, right," she inquired. He nodded. "Promise?"

"Cross both my hearts," he murmured. "One warning, one chance at a peaceful resolution. If they ignore it, then what happens next is on them." She nodded.

"I can live with that," she muttered. He smiled and killed her lips.

"Good," he whispered, pulling her towards the TARDIS. "I've got a surprise for you." She didn't even protest, to be honest. She was curious as to why he had changed a bit. "Close your eyes, love."

She complied, and she felt the TARDIS start to move. But then it stopped, like it had barely moved an inch. She felt his hands take hers, and he was leading her out the doors of the TARDIS.

"Open your eyes, love." She took a deep breath, then pried her eyes open.

They were standing before a two story house. Not a flat, a house. It was simple, white siding and plain windows, but it was an actual house, with a huge garden. She could barely make out a barn in the back, and a dog house near the main house.

"Welcome home, Rose," he whispered in her ear. She turned to him, tears in her eyes. "I always said I didn't do domestic, cause I was so scared of remembering. So scared of failing again." He took a deep breath, his gaze never leaving hers. "But I'm not scared anymore. You deserve someone you can count on to come home every night and support you and Dakota. I can be that man, Rose. If you'll just give me the chance, I can do domestic." She placed a finger on his lips.

"I knew you could all along," she soothed. "I was just waiting on you." He chuckled.

"Then you have the patience of a saint," he commented. "But so do I." She grinned at the slight change in his voice.

"You've been waiting for a year now," she replied just at coyly. "I believe that deserves a reward."

* * *

His lips claimed hers in a fierce kiss. She barely registered that they had made their way to the master bedroom until he tossed her onto the massive bed. She squealed, but was silenced when his mouth covered hers again, his tongue slipping inside.

Dear God, it had been too long for her as well.

His fingers rubbed the damp spot in her knickers, and she moaned into his mouth. She needed him inside her, and soon.

"Doctor," she breathed as he pulled away. His lips made a path down her neck, sending jolts of pleasure as he went. His fingers deftly unlatched her bra, and he flung it across the room. He gently massaged her breasts.

"So perfect," he growled, his voice dripping with lust. "My perfect Rose." He sucked one of her pert nipples into his mouth, then gagged as breast milk squirted onto his tongue.

"I should have warned you," she panted. He shook his head.

"I should have known better," he shot back. He pressed his lips against her sternum, then moved lower, making her anticipation build. She wanted to scream at him, to tell him to get on with it, but her words were caught in her throat. His fingers hooked into the elastic of her knickers, and he slowly pulled them down her legs.

She was exposed now. She was bare and exposed to him. She tried to cover herself up without thinking about it.

"Don't," he instructed. "Rose, don't." He moved back up the bed, gently cupping her face with both hands.

"Have you even seen what I look like now," she whimpered. "Ever since Dakota, nothing's been the same."

"I know that, love," he soothed, "but I don't care. When I look at you, I see a strong, confident woman who is also a brilliant mother. I don't care that you can't fit into the jeans you wore when we first met. I don't care that there's still a bit of weight lingering." He turned her face so that she had to look at him. "I see the mother of my son, the love of my life, and I could not be happier." She smiled and pulled his face closer to hers.

Life was perfect, for once.


	21. Eighteen Years of Domestics

_Disclaimer: I own nothing._

* * *

_So, here we are guys. This is it. The last chapter of What If. I might do a sequel, if you guys would like. Something to carry on._

_I want to thank all of you. The one who stuck through all the good times and the bad, the ups and the downs, and even the funny little moments where the Doctor's being goofy. Thank you, from the bottom of both of my hearts._

_So, without further ado, here is the last chapter of What if._

_Love always,_

_Avoline_

* * *

Dakota leaned on the fence, watching as his father showed little Azalea Tyler how to tighten the cinch on the saddle. The large black Marwari stood still and patient, letting the thirteen-year-old try and try again to get it right.

This had been Dakota's home for eighteen years. From what he understood, his father had gotten it for his mother as a wedding gift. Three years after they moved in, Dakota's twin brothers, Jordan and Jamie, were born. That's when the Doctor got a German Shepard puppy, Chief. Two years after that, Dakota's first and only sister, Azalea, was born. The Doctor can home with two massive horses, Midnight, the large black stallion, and Evelyn, an equally large chestnut mare.

From Midnight and Evelyn came Rogue, Dakota's horse, who turned out to be liver chestnut. If Dakota had not been reading like a hundred books on horses, he would have never known. Then, Evelyn came up pregnant again ten years ago, and gave birth to a flaxen chestnut colt who had yet to earn a name.

"Dakota," his father called. "How about a ride with me and your younger sister?" Dakota grinned.

"Sure," he answered. "Just let me go tell Mum!" His father nodded, and Dakota sprinted towards the house. He had always loved riding, ever since his dad had brought home Midnight and Evelyn. It was something he would never give up, even when he regenerated for the first time when he was ten.

He pushed the back door open and stepped inside, seeing his mother washing dishes in the kitchen. She had not aged much in eighteen years, probably due to all the time she's spent on the TARDIS. His dad had done an analysis of her DNA around three years and found that somehow, it had morphed, making her half Time Lord. So, although she was thirty-eight, she barely looked twenty-five.

"I'm going riding with Dad and Azalea," he announced. "Just thought I'd let you know, Mum."

"Thanks, Dakota," she replied, smiling at him. "Enjoy yourself. And don't make your father look like an idiot!" He laughed as he closed the door and ran for the barn. He planned on riding the nameless mare, and maybe manage a name for her.

"You plan on riding Angel," the Doctor inquired before mounting Midnight. Dakota stopped and raised an eyebrow.

"Angel," he asked.

"What? Azalea picked it out." Dakota shook his head at his excited little sister.

"Sure, I'll ride Angel," the younger man responded. He swiftly saddled the young mare up and was soon riding next to his father.

"Dakota, you're eighteen now," the older man started. "And it's time for you to start your journey as the next Time Lord. First thing's first, you need to choose your own name."

"Really," Dakota groaned, his sandy blond hair blowing into his face.

"Yes, really," the Doctor insisted. "It has to be something fitting, something that you promise to uphold no matter what." Dakota thought long and hard, his brown eyes going out of focus.

"Why not the Rider," he suggested. "I've loved riding since you brought home Midnight and Evelyn, and it's all I do anymore." His father nodded.

"Sound fitting," he mused. "Find your own TARDIS, and take Rogue with you. She's yours, son, and that will never change. Now, where will you go first?" Dakota- no, the Rider- grinned.

"I thought I'd go see Jenny. Haven't seen her in damn near ten years."


	22. Afterward

_Disclaimer: I own nothing._

* * *

_Hello, friends._

_I know this is suppose to be completed, but I figured you guys deserved an Afterward from me. I know my version of the Doctor didn't quite fit how he really was, but this was also a story based on one phrase: what if._

_There is a sequel to it. Adventures of the Rider is now three chapters in and so far developing well. I'm trying something new (for me at least) in it, and embracing the fact that, in my wonderful country of the United States of America, men and women are allowed to marry who they love, no matter what sexual orientation. So, be ready for a very unusual pairing._

_Adventures does follow Dakota, or the Rider as he's now known, as he starts his own journey through space and time. He'll find love, friendship, heartbreak, triumph, and, on occasion, defeat. I'll let you guys decide who he meets in the chapters following the current three, and be prepared for a HUGE twist later on in the story!_

_It seems as though this has ended too soon, but time is always far too short when traveling with the Doctor. All you can do is hang on tight and hope you never let go._

_Love always, my faithful companions,_

_Avoline._


End file.
